Hell yeah. Its the end of prelim1.
Didn't exactly have the all-hell-break-lose-its-the-end-of-the-exams feel this time round. Felt more motivated to study for o levels instead. I guess its a good sign.
Not everything has bee smooth sailing these days. Mom being a hell of a bitch. It really hurts me. Its like being torn between your family and the most important person to you in the world. It sure hell sucks trust me. But it is really not within my control.
I don't want to lie to her all the time when I'm going out with him, but she's really leaving me with no choice. I want to be open. To be able to tell her everything that I want to. But its hard. Its tough. Especially when she doesn't even give me a chance to explain myself on certain things in the first place. She likes to assume. To judge a book by its cover, which is to me. The worst thing a person can do. Don't judge a book by its cover. Cause you never know how beautiful its inside may be. Sometimes I just really want to scream my thoughts at her. I hate being torn between him and her. I love them both really. But I really need her to accept him. He isn't like what he seems to be. He isn't the guy who will just toy with me and hurt me in the end. He's the kind of guy who's mature enough me put me before him. The kind of guy who loves me more than anyone would. He's the kind of guy who advices me on what to do, just because he cares. I don't know what to do really. I feel really really lost. I want to work on this, but I don't know where to begin at or even what should I do.
Its a tough fight, tough struggle. But looking at him today in the cinema, I knew that I can't do without him. Just looking at him and thinking about everything we've been through, it brings tears to my eyes and for that whole moment, I'll be giving thanks for having him in my life, to having have met him. I can't appreciate him more. Sometimes I really wonder, what in the world made him fall for me, so hard. I ain't the prettiest, not even hell close. I ain't the smartest, and I definitely ain't the best girl in the world. Trust me, this guy, he could get any girl in the world, with his looks and charm. But why me? But whatever reason it may be, I don't really care. As long as we're both happily together. That's all that I could ever ask for.
Just like yesterday, sitting at the beach with lunch. Fending off pigeons eyeing on our food. Camwhor-ing. Teasing one another. Feeding an injured one-legged bird secretly. I mean, its so simple you know. We could go anywhere with one another. Love is easy really. Its simple. And it definitely isn't overrated. You're never too young to fall in love. Remember that. Heaven has something special installed for everyone. You just have got to wait and be patient. One day you'll find the right one. Just like how I did. I never really did believe in true love till now. I never did believe that gentleman still exist till today. I thought they were extinct.
So don't give up. Don't give up on love. Without love, we're all doomed. So I won't stop trying. One day, I'll convince my mom that he IS the right one.
if love can't save us, nothing can.
